Rumsfeld folds to the left

Darn him anyway >:-|

THE LARK PROGRAM

A Lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about
the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the
Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay,
Cuba.


Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard
loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks
to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division
of
the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept
Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to
place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has
been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to
your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just
call
him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally
demanded in your letter of complaint.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We
will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for
Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your
letter


Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your
sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help
him
overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these
problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer
counselling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and
can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail
clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at
your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep
those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a
particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent
tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he
will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy
the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.


Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his
religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of
Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,


Don Rumsfeld
_______________

HT Airborne Vet